Finally caved in and accepted RESIDENT EVIL as being a fun action zombie movie that I wholeheartedly like. The story has clever bits and I think Milla had something to do with the final sway. So, of course, I bought the double DVD set of RE 1 & 2, and, of course APOCALYPSE blew mad gnarly chunks. Why didn't you warn me, digital_ink? Milla is prettier than ever, but her lovely face can't hold up the lack of drama [not an iota of suspense] and the clipped, nearly incompetent pace this sequel flexes. What was UP with that DUMB motorcycle crashing through the church stained glass scene about? And, Nemesis? Could he have been more ineffectual? They barely played up the star-crossed romance to his character! Ugh! Fie the plot holes, to boot. Same writer/director of the first flick only wrote the second flick and gave the directing chores to a guy that only directs second unit shots. Ergo, the entire sequel reads and feels like a feature length second unit movie of jumbled together shots. HOLY CRAP did they fuck this one up bad, virtually sealing its franchise demise. A shame because I drool for chicks doing kung fu on the walking dead like any proper nerd should. Watch ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, instead.
I don't know if I was pre-menstrual or if my senses were kidnapped by pink unicorns, but I caught the last 2/3rds of BLACK KNIGHT on a cable channel and fell to the floor rolling in giggles. There is something about Martin Lawrence that sends me into cackles. Maybe it's his outstanding awareness for stupidity? Maybe he's the black Jerry Lewis? I don't know. I don't think I can recommend the movie, but it had me on the floor. That's all I know.