Man-Size (man_size) wrote,

Plastic Bubble

Somebody was critical of my less than stellar travel record. Well, I may not be a backpack veteran but at least I know what I DON'T like and, in a nutshell, that's the stench of poor people, un-bathed Europeans, garbage, road kill, fish guts, and the foul exhaust of tobacco. Yeah, I'm a guy firmly in touch with his olfactory. I suppose that kills most adventure abroad. Tough titty for me. Naw, I'll stick to airplanes that fly me nonstop to beaches where brown topless babes romp about harmoniously with the occasional foray into town for supplies and a peek at the local architecture [WAIT UP -- I haven't done that yet. No fair!!!]. Sure, I'll indulge a few ghost stories from the town sheriff and bartender, maybe even invite a few saucy chuckleheads back for a BBQ and a skinny dip in the pool but, I'm sorry to say, most foreign culture makes me cringe. And, that includes America. Still, don't hate me for my ignorance. Feel sorry for my pathetic and narrow point of view. I could've been intrepid but my New York Muthafuckin' City childhood grew me into a middle class punk with dreams to live in a spic-n-span world. Not that I don't miss the surly Times Square of yesteryear....

When I find the right partner-in-crime who finds savvy solutions to my esoteric conundrums with the snap of her fingers, then my surgical gloves and mask come off and I'll happily dive into a river that's a few continents east of Montero Lounge. Meanwhile, I have a bike chain to grease and break pads to adjust. There isn't a more beautiful sight than the one I behold riding over The Brooklyn Bridge at dusk.

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