April 25th, 2005


Honey Bun

I dared a friend to eat a Hostess HONEY BUN after it'd been fried in the microwave for TWENTY MINUTES! We put it in, started the dial, and watched kung fu until we heard the dreaded DING. We creeped back into the kitchen expecting high fructose napalm wallpapering the plaster walls. Nothing. So far, so cool. I slip on my oven mitts and readied the metal tongs. We crack open the microwave door only to see the HONEY BUN, sitting pretty, unscathed and room temperature. Same as it ever was.

The fucking thing was made out of space shuttle tile!Collapse )

Zombie Softball - Game 1

In our first game of this bar league season, I popped out twice and got a measly single base hit. My batting ratio was less than my usual stellar. It didn't help that the wind chill factor was compromising my grip and swing. However, I snagged two crazy lobs into the Red Hook air space of right field that begged much running from my dear crippled legs. I was outstanding on the grass sans cleats. A bunch of team cheers and opponent boos kept the blood spiked. Still, my poor sore legs and back started paying for it by the second inning. I hobbled on my bike ride home -- if that's even possible. I felt alive.