"The content of character" copyright 2005 Dean Haspiel
featuring The Blob and Colossus for X-MEN UNLIMITED
Idea: For the very first time in his life The Blob becomes aware of what he could look like in a socially acceptable way and it sends him into a fury that only the steel might of Peter Rasputin [aka Colossus] can keep at bay. Note: this story takes place before Peter Rasputin joined The X-men.
Facing a tall mirror we see The Blob as we have never seen him before: thin and normal. Almost good looking. A morbidly obese woman stands next to him exclaiming, "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you this way, Blob. You look...normal." Reverse shot [2pp spread] reveals The Blob as he actually looks like; a tundra of impossible weight and flesh standing next to the woman who is actually skinny and beautiful. Above their heads hangs a banner that reads “Fun House of Mirrors.” The woman giggles at the mocking powers the mirrors posses, wishing the "fat man" a good day. A single tear wells up in The Blob's eye and his self-esteem issues become revealed as we close in on his bulbous tear. It dislodges and falls down the quarry of The Blobs eyelid and rolls over the hill of his cheek and into the crevice of his first chin. Slowly, we follow this lonely tear as it journeys over the cliffs and vistas of The Blob's mountainous frame. His profound thoughts of body image brings him anxiety, wondering if he'll ever know the touch of a woman, shaking his very foundation, until the tear falls splat to the ground between his massive toes. The Blob's head sinks into depression and his body sways. Cut to: a young Peter Rasputin, dubbed "The Strong Man," as he lifts a 400 pound barbell at the Strong Man exhibit outside The Fun House of Mirrors. A young boy and girl eating cotton candy cheer the strong man as he strains with all his might to lift the heavy barbell above his head. Suddenly, The Fun House of Mirrors explodes into a billion shards of glass and wood. Peter instantly turns to steel, revealing his often-feared mutant power, as he shields the children from the dangerous debris. The Blob comes rampaging out from the carnage, completely oblivious to his chrome-plated co-worker, and swaggers angrily towards the Tsunami, a nearby roller coaster, to topple its frame. Peter runs towards The Blob as he slams into a beam that compromise the Tsunami ride's infrastructure sending a roller coaster car hanging over the side and riders scream. With the intent to keep The Blob from doing more damage, Peter punches The Blob in his face only to get his fist stuck within his pudgy cheeks. A kick from his leg sinks half his body inside The Blob's gut and Peter finds himself trapped. The blob finds humor in this conundrum and inflates his body sending Peter flying a hundred feet and crashing through the wall of a nearby Freak Show. The Blob stomps over to and inside the Freak Show, only to discover The Bearded Lady weeping and holding The Shortest Man in the World, who is unconscious, cuddled in her arms. It turns out that Peter's steel body crushed The Shortest Man in the World's legs when The Blob tossed him through the Freak Show wall, nearly killing The Bearded Lady's husband! Distraught, The Bearded Lady screams at The Blob, "Why can't you just accept what you are?" Anticipating more anger, Peter dusts himself off, ready to rumble with The Blob. Sobered by the damage of his rash anger, The Blob's head sinks into depression once again and he apologizes to The Bearded Lady. He has witnessed the wonderful power of love and it leaves him ashamed. The Blob lets gravity take over his mass as his body cracks the ground beneath his feet and he crashes through the earth, creating a dark hole, miles deep, for him to hide alone in and contemplate his actions. Denouement: Peter realizes the need for a support group that takes care of those who are extremely different from common man, wishing there was somebody that could organize such healthy resolve.